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  1. Storytime
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Lyrics

STORYTIME
(Tonio K.)

oh, it’s time to tell a truly stupid story
one that doesn’t matter
one so dumb no one could figure out what it’s about
no one will know, not even if they had to
i’m talkin’ about dumb
unusual, illogical, incredibly immature

so let’s say we have a little boy and girl
now let’s add a puppy
suddenly right out of nowhere comes a
puppy-eating grody glob of boron seeking vengeance or something
ridiculous, it’s impossible, unscientific
in a word, it’s horse manure

does the glob eat the dog? no
do the boy and the girl run home? no
the dog and the glob hit it off, get a job with a circus
in a solar system not unlike our own
the boy and the girl get married sometime later
and they never even miss the little puppy
no they never really liked it
it was ugly
the end
it was a non-event
infinity is a lot like that
in fact, it’s mostly holes and negative space

(TK: For all these other little boys and girls, and dogs and worlds, and strontium-90: Always remember that Eastern religion rules. Shall we?
Nick: Certainly.
[howling and growling]
TK: Oh, you’re getting carried away.
Nick: Sorry.)

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